Building Self Esteem and Self Confidence

How would you assess your own self-worth?

There is a difference between self-esteem and self-confidence. One builds upon the other, and when a person possesses these two traits, the benefits are powerful and can be life-changing.

Self-confidence is a personal attribute that starts to build up from childhood, and refers to the ability to recognize and acknowledge one’s capability to undertake any endeavor.

This characteristic often develops from within, with the support of the people you grew up with, mainly your parents, teachers and other significant adults in your life.

A person who is self-confident is certain that the things he/she needs to do will be done accordingly, without being doubtful or needing to be affirmed by others because they believe in themselves.

Self esteem, on the other hand, is your own overall perception of your value as a person; it refers to how you regard yourself with respect to your responsibilities, obligations, efforts, relationships, and social status. Self-esteen also develops from childhood depending on how the people around you perceived and treated you; however, since it is subjective, it is something that you can always work to improve.

The interesting thing about these two traits is that they create a self-fulfilling cycle in which one builds upon the other. Thus, the more self-confidence you have, the higher your self-esteem will be and vice versa.

Factors in Building Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

Several factors affect these two personal attributes. If a child lives in a nurturing, motivating and affirming environment, he/she is most likely to grow up confident and highly esteemed. On the other hand, a hostile and critical environment instills fear, rejection, insecurities and other factors that erode self-confidence.

The childhood years may either boost or lower a child’s self-esteem and self-confidence. These can go up and down according to the experiences the child encounters while growing up. Traumatic events in life such as abandonment, separation and death can greatly affect a child. Even physical characteristics and mental capabilities can create a dent on self-confidence and self-esteem.

People who come in contact with a child or young adult also influence these traits. Even adults are prone to lose or gain confidence and self-esteem. For instance, if a man loses his job and is having a hard time finding another, his self-esteem gets damaged and as a consequence, his self-confidence gets eroded as well. Fortunately, this may be temporary, and may even boost self-confidence when he eventually finds a better job.

The family and immediate circle of influence are the basic support systems of every person. These people have an impact in developing these traits. To succeed in any life endeavor, it becomes crucial that a person gains these characteristics. When self-esteem and self-confidence are high, the person is better prepared to face the challenges that come in life.

Motivation, respect, love, caring, and understanding play very important roles in personality development. We should not underestimate the power that these factors have in achieving happiness and success. While there are unavoidable circumstances in life, taking stock of yourself allows for a more open and accepting attitude toward these adversities when they inevitable show up in your life.

Luckily, self-esteem and self-confidence are malleable, meaning, we can always work on improving them.

How to Build Your Self Esteem and Self Confidence

When you build your self-esteem, you will be able to reverse the negative perceptions that have been pulling you down.  From this position, your self-confidence rises allowing you to turn adversities into opportunities. 

An important thing to remember is that the value you have for yourself will be the basis for the way other people perceive and value you. It is you who is in charge of setting the parameters for others to value, respect and even admire you. People with high self-esteem seldom get taken advantage of.

Here are a few points to remember. Put them in practice for yourself…

  • Boost your confidence and self-regard by being authentic in any given situation and at any given time. Do not try to impress on others. Just be yourself. You are valuable as you are!
  • Pay close attention to the way in which you talk to yourself. If you make a mistake don’t judge yourself. If you catch yourself having self-derogatory thoughts, stop. Acknowledge that nobody is perfect, learn from your mistake and move on. Self-talk is extremely important; it can either increase your self-confidence or smash it… and you do it all by yourself!
  • Keep a good opinion of yourself. We all have had experiences in which we have felt proud of ourselves. Think of those moments often and use them as guideposts to remind you of what you are capable of.
  • Be cautious of the people you interact with. Avoid those whose negativity is overwhelming. Surround yourself instead with people who are cheerful and positive. You’ve heard the law of attraction principles that dictate “like attracts like.” Be optimistic and happy yourself, and eventually you will attract like-minded individuals to your life.
  • Positive thinking or optimism is also a mobilizing factor towards raising your self-esteem and increasing your self-confidence. Even when things don’t turn out as expected, explore possibilities before you start thinking of the experience as a total failure. What did you learn about what just happened? Reflect on the learning lesson versus allowing yourself to feel defeated.
  • Keep your pockets full with wisdom and knowledge. Learn to pick up lessons from the past and use them to improve your skills and know-how in the present. Again, nobody is perfect! Life is -after all- a learning experience.
  • Research and learn about personal development and self growth topics, and internalize what you find. Visit blogs and sites that spread positive messages to uplift your spirit. By the way…

Thank you for being here!! 🙂

  • Grab every opportunity that will enhance your personal traits or improve you as a person. Take a class, help a neighbor, share a great tip, tell a child “I Love You”… look for opportunities to help yourself by helping others. It will make you feel good and enhance your self-esteem!
  • Believe in yourself. Be open to a healthy competition at work, in sports, and even on a board game. Be humble enough to accept that you will not always win; however, you will always find growth through the experience. Take what you learn and do it better next time. It will increase your self-confidence!

Remember, self-development is an on-going process. Learning to know yourself, your abilities, capabilities and strengths as well as your weaknesses and accepting them, will determine the kind of person you become. Love yourself so you will be able to love others.

Recommended Resources

One of my favorite tools for a variety of self-improvement areas is hypnosis. Here is my favorite website that offers you several options to increase your self-esteem, help you build an abundance of natural self assurance, believe in yourself and become more confident, outgoing and successful in life with easy to use hypnosis downloads!

Another excellent resource is this audio alternative: The “Guide to Self Esteem and Self Confidence” by Andy Guides. Visit this site to listen to a sample and get complete details of this comprehensive audio course. Andy leaves absolutely nothing out!

Don’t have much time? Want a more pro-active approach? How about increasing your self-confidence with subliminal audios… all while you sleep? Learn about subliminal messages and how they can help you at the core by reprogramming your subconscious mind for a healthy self-esteem and self-confidence, here.

Lastly, I invite you to download “How to Boost Your Self Esteem“, a free eBook for you, courtesy of Tools for Abundance.  In it, you will discover the steps to invite success, happiness and contentment into your life. It’s the perfect primer to get you into the right mindset before you delve into hypnosis or subliminal messaging.

Remember, the only one who can make you excel is YOU and no one else!

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